"We have to enjoy the process, and we have to take these moments now while we're still competing, and just look around and think: Lucky us. Lucky us that we get to be here, everyone is fussing over us, we're getting our hair and makeup done," says Virtue, looking stunning in a strapless wedding gown.Jesus Christ, Tessa. Shut up. What are you - the fucking devil? This is horrible!
"It's really special and it's nice to share with friends and family and have some good photos to look back on."
If she weren't lying, which she is. If she meant it, she would be some type of monster demon, so what a relief she's merely obtuse.
A monster is someone who'd actually mean what she just said. Meaning, this is a couple who don't admit their own child's existence in public, a couple whose nieces are held up in the front row at Worlds so the camera can't miss them. This is a couple who have been photographed hundreds of thousands of times - hundreds of photo shoots, countless publications.
Who are saying now that photo shoots and splashing the images immediately onto the web is such a special experience that despite being plagued/annoyed/aggravated/amused by never-resting skatefan "dreamers" who want them to be together, it's totally worth it for the still-resolutely-pretending-to-be-platonic Scott and Tessa to dress up like a bride and groom for Today's Bride and flood the web with the photos before they've left the studio. Why wait for it to hit the newstand! Check it out now.
(Even though their motives will be misconstrued which makes Scott so pre-emptively mad. But in the end, the lure of the make-up brush and white balance setting, the bounce board and the lens filter is a siren call impossible to resist. Right? That's all it is, you cute little fake bride and groom, you.)
And then after the pampering - the product! It's so nice to share with family and friends and have still more published-in-public-shared-on-the-web photos to look back on. Can never have too many. It's a perk and time is running out. Photoshoots aren't going to be as special after they've retired, apparently. Making them public concurrent with when they were taken also seems to be key.
It's their right, of course. This is their experience, their career. It's not their child's. Why should the kid want to look back on something published current with when it took place, just because mom and dad, cousins, fake girlfriends, paternal grandparents, etc., all have it? Just because the child's mother is telling the world how special it is, what a great experience it all still is, even after mommy's done it a thousand times and the child not even once. Be sure, mom, to stress that with less than 10 months left, time's running out to enjoy this.
The child has never shared the experience and never will. Yep - expurgated from the record of every last month, week, day, hour and minute. Why pretend the child isn't missing anything much? Screw that. Get it on the record, mommy, that this is so much fun, so lucky, so special, so the kid will know they DID miss a lot. Rub it in.
The reason Tessa can say this stuff that sounds absolutely hair-raising to anybody who knows Scott and Tessa's little one is a public non-person and excluded from all this special public stuff is that Tessa is lying.
She and Scott don't give a fuck about being pampered, fussed over, hair and make-up done for Today's Bride. They're not going to be scrolling through these shots years from now going "Remember when my platonic partner and I posed like bride and groom for that bridal magazine? SO glad we did that. I bet Tanith and Ben wish they'd had the opportunity so they could be looking back, all nostalgic."*
That wouldn't be weird in the least.
And since they're not actually platonic, and ARE married, they have real wedding photos.
Besides those, there are already enough nice photos to look back on to stock a Scott and Tessa library - many released to the public, a billion more not.
They did this to create buzz, to throw down against the Meryl and Charlie chemistry press and get some spotlight back. They've got nobody at Skatebuzz or Above the Crowd who gives a shit or can write for shit, who can counter program icenetwork, and the situation there is actually likely worse than that - to wit: Skate Canada doesn't want to support Virtue Moir vis a vis Davis White. Skate Canada thinks it would go against Piper and Paul's best interest (Piper met the prime minister recently, did you know? Finishing 18th at Worlds comes with plenty of perks).
Scott and Tessa are in bridal drag, obviously, for exactly the reason Scott claims they didn't do it.
And of course Scott 'almost didn't want to do it' because he knew damn well everyone would know why they were doing it, and for some reason people knowing shit on their own pisses them both off, and he thinks saying things like that lends credibility instead of doing what it does do, which is make his nose grow twice its size.
It's basically once again they're so busy lying to cover their real agenda, that they take no care with their lies, don't get the meaning of context, and, as ever, what comes out of their lying mouths en route to hiding the truth unfortunately usually ends up correlating hideously, hypocritically and inadvertently with other things that are true.
*You know what's funny is obviously platonic partners who crawl into bride and groom clothes would be goofing off a lot, being silly, making fun, rolling eyes. Or, if the pretend groom was Charlie White, protectively crossing his hands in front of his crotch or his arms across his torso. They wouldn't be staring soulfully at the camera, not a mouth twitch in sight. It would have a bit of theatre going on, not the aura of being absolutely earnest.
P.S. I re-realized that Scott's Q&A response about how he'd trade places with his brother is not only an ill-conceived answer that turned around and stabbed his own child in the heart, but it's part of his profile in the SOI show program. So it's not some on-line interview that will disappear into the ether. It's a statement he's making about himself in the official SOI bio for that season - it's an actual souvenir. As the blog has said, for all their lying, you couldn't force Scott Moir at gunpoint to be cavalier about Tessa. I've never read anything from him where he's even trying to double speak or misdirect in terms of how he feels about her or her importance in his life, and these are two people who lie in public all the time that they're platonic and involved with other people.
I don't know how something like what he said can be said without pausing to consider his child as an individual who is not him, who is not Tessa, who is not "Virtue and Moir". Their child isn't Virtue and Moir, but a separate human being.
By the time the kid becomes aware that the reason they're not in any public material from back in the day, the reasons Virtue and Moir lied will no longer have relevance to the kid. The career will be over. The two of them will be older. Whatever was compelling about their motives won't exist anymore. And maybe I'm wrong, but I think "We pretended you didn't exist because we loved you so much" might be a tough sell. "We pretended you didn't exist because it was too much trouble to untangle the yarn of lies" "Because the Olympics were near and we didn't want to distract with that can of worms" and "We were already stretched thin - we couldn't handle "Hey, we're together" AND "btw - we have a child AND everything else." Not to mention: "Keeping you hidden kept a lot of our friends/family out of our hair."
Especially since the people they were protecting were themselves, not the child. The child is a collateral decision. They made the decision to become parents in the middle of their Olympic-eligible careers, in the first cycle of the new quadrennial, but didn't want to deal with that decision, not in public. So a human being gets swept under the rug. As I said in the comments section, the kid isn't ignored, unloved, unacknowledged in daily life - far from it. But is in public. Scott and Tessa might very well be exhausted by being so much in public most of their career - locally and more widely. But that's not their kid's reality and never would be. For the child, it ends up being exclusion, not protection.