Thursday, April 20, 2017

Checking in

In deference to the blog's origins, I keep tabs on her:

Jessica Dube instagram a bit over
3 months ago.
"Montreal, see you in 7 months."
She's off to the Caribbean,
Mediterranean and Baltic!

Then the usual:

Then -

This poor dog. What a one-way street.
Why is she home and sad when she's supposed to have four more months cruising crystal clear waters? What "gray days"? - it's spring! (Ok  - it's a spring that looks a lot like early February, but still).

With the charitable spirit that consistently infuses me when I contemplate Jessica Dube, I googled:

How to Get Fired from a Cruise Ship

Why not get familiar with things Royal Caribbean so as to better speculate why she's landlubbing it in Montreal four months ahead of schedule.

However I learned that, along with the fact that there are countless  "How I got fired from my cruise ship job" pieces out there, cruise ships are hives of personal and corporate politics - exploitative, back-stabbing, treacherous laws unto themselves sans accountability, and everyone is constantly under video surveillance. It's Orange is the New Black with puka shells. You could get fired for breaking a rule or because somebody in better with your supervisor didn't like you. Somebody drunk could fire you for being drunk. There are a million reasons you could get fired, including any reason and no reason.

Perhaps Jessica thought that since she had remained a favorite of the Canadian figure skating fed despite habitually underachieving, her lucky star would continue to shine on her in an enormous, even more unstable, unfair, money-obsessed, everybody out for themselves universe.

I also read that not many Americans work on cruise ships because they won't put up with the pay/hours ratio (one is low, the other can be basically around the clock). One American earned more than her supervisor because the cruise ship rationalized something about what the dollar was worth in the U.S. versus in her supervisor's country of origin. So it's also possible that, based on her resume, Jessica negotiated a slightly larger salary than they usually pay figure skaters, and midway through this third stint, somebody asked "Why the fuck are we paying her again? Who is she? Get rid of her!" and somebody cheaper and more clever took over the Carmen on ice or Santana girl costume.

I was hoping there were only a few major reasons to get fired, but the big, obvious reasons - hooking up with a passenger, failing to show up for all aboard, being late to wherever you're supposed to be (and "late" is not a hand wave - you clock in on cards), being really drunk and failing a BAC test - are just the fun reasons among many reasons.

So now I will keep an eye peeled for Jessica's next career adventure  - which could be on another cruise line, just not on - according to what I've read - another of Royal Caribbean's bazillion boats. But I hope not. I'm ready for something new. And I want to see Bella get some therapy for abandonment trauma. It's like abuse. Gimme the love! Here's my baby! Then - bam - bye! See you when I see you! It's a dog. It's not good for her.


  1. I suspect that Jessica's return home and grey days might be a family related matter. Let's not always assume the worst in her.

  2. I also keep tabs on Jessica. Her return home was because of a family tragedy. She's back at work now, and given the nature of what happened, this post probably isn't in the best of taste.

  3. P/C gave an interview complaining that doing Latin dances on ice is too difficult, the music sounds all the same ( rich coming from them ) and that Latin programs in ice dance always look cheap and cliché. Such great sportsmanship! Now Gabby calls it alternative facts and claims it was taken out off context even though those were her exact words. TSL already crumbled and took their post off Facebook again.